Rose Petals In A Jar

It scared me that my imagination field was slowly fading away.
Everywhere I went, I'd at least hear one adult talking about that kid who could be the future Picasso of our century - their words, not mine.

I have never once complaint & whined, "What about me?" even though I'm already a blooming 16 year old, the true age of teen rebellion.

My mom was encouraging me to breathe art. That's what single moms do, right?
Support their kid, partly out of guilt, & in their free time, date strange men?

Which was how I ended up at this school for the talented generation.

Don't get me wrong. I love my mom for, you know, thinking of me & all.
But I couldn't help feeling... A little offended.

I may not be a freaking kid Picasso but I'm good at what I do.
I know that.

I found the teachers very perky - way too perky to teach the beautiful works of the arts.

I could still remember that special day.
I was on my way to my favorite class, sketching.
Pottery, glass painting, sculpting weren't exactly my thing.

All I needed was a piece of paper & a pencil & voila!
I'm all set.

Which kinda explained why I was so busy doodling in my sketchbook, my most precious possession - even more precious than my hand phone (which is officially missing) - that I managed to bump into him.

I remembered the first time I took him in. He was a true work of art, the first thought that came to mind.
I mean it.

Light, sandy brown hair slightly ruffled with a total contrast with those beautiful hazel eyes.
You know the kind. The kind which sometimes look greenish, sometimes brownish..

His lips was one of the first features I was slightly attracted to. It looked as if it was always fixed in a permanent scowl but when he glanced at me, that first time, he smiled.

"Sorry! Oh God..." I said as he got up.

I had to lift my head to see him.
He was, I noticed, tall.
Very tall.

That & he had the broadest shoulders I had ever seen.
It was as if someone had molded him to perfection, as lame as that sounded.

He held out his hand for me & I reached out for it.
Not only was he incredibly, well, hot, he was also very strong.

As if pulling up a girl who weighed 52kg single-handedly was no big deal.

I was so dazed with all these obvious observations about him that my inky pen made an inky stain on the sleeve of his hoodie.

"Dammit! I'm sorry! God, I don't know what's happening to me today. Seriously." I muttered & made a vain attempt to fix his shirt.

& I really didn't. I was not the clumsy chick who petered over guys.
I was too occupied with the sketching.

"Nah, it's okay. It looks cool actually." he said, his voice deep & low.
He examined the ink stain with fascination.

I looked up & knew that he was right.

The black ink stain gave a contrast with the gray hoodie & it also looked like a splat! so it did look cool, in a way.

"So... Lemme guess. You're a sketcher?" he smirked, his hands casually in his jeans pocket.
I smiled at him. "Is it that obvious?"
He held out his ink-stained sleeve & pointed at my notebook I was clutching with a smile on his face.

"& you're on your way to sketch class?"
I nodded, dumbfounded. How did he know?
"& you're a detective?" I asked as we begin walking to our class.

He smiled. "Hmm... Detective Nick... I like it."

Oh, so he's Nick?

Why was he name so familiar?

"Mr. Nicholas & Ms Elizabeth. nice of you to join us." the sketch teacher, Mr Nobleson said.
"Pleasure." Nick bowed & sat down a desk behind me.

So began the lectures & so-called inspiring pep-talk about the beauty of art.
It wasn't like I'm not agreeing to all of this. It's just that the way he said it.
Mr Nobleson has that voice which just seemed to drone on & on...

I mean, seriously. There should be some sort of law, stating that boring guys are not allowed to talk about something as... Well, something as delicate like art.

Finally, after what seemed like eons, he gave us our assignments.

That was a toughie. Though Mr Nobleson was a pretty boring guy, his assignments are always interesting.

Anyway, there were so many things which made me ponder.

He gave us a week to finish it.
As soon as he dismissed us, Nick came by my side.

"So, if I recall, you're a sketcher." he said casually.
"Mm."
"So sketchers have a phone & an e-mail add?"
I looked up & saw him peering down at me.

Smiling, I grabbed his right hand from his pocket & wrote it down.

"lizbeth_arty@inspired.com?" he smiled even more.
"Hey, at least you'll know it's me." I smiled back & walked away.







The first thing I did was switching on my computer - a Mac, of course.
I was doodling nervously like mad on my notebook - odd, wispy swirls with little flowers blooming stage by stage.

You should know that whatever I drew was reflecting on how my mood was.

So I was a little thrown aback when I saw that... Romantic drawing.
Normally, if I was in an okay mood, I'd draw waves lapping at sand, or maybe even grass, I forgot.

Or if I'm angry I'd draw flames spikey, playing with the smoke in the wind howling with rage.

Whatever. You get the picture.

But why was I drawing little flowers with the swirls, which I'm guessing were leaves?

I didn't have time to think of that because I heard the sound of the beloved ding! of my Mac Messenger signed in.

The first thing I saw was a pop-up window which read :

'smokesintheair90@freemail.com has added you to his/her list'

Obviously, I clicked the 'Add him/her' option because I knew it was Nick.
Hmm... Wait... If he was born in 1990, that'd mean he's...

Ding!

A convo window popped up in my face.
I smiled. It was Nick.

Blurred Mirrors says : Hey
Liz - Rose Petals In A Jar says : Hey
Blurred Mirrors says : Rose petals in a jar?
Liz - Rose Petals In A Jar says : LOL yup. That... Well, it's a dream
Blurred Mirrors says : Of rose petals in a jar? Hmm... Not your boyfriend?
Liz - Rose Petals In A Jar says : Boyfriend? What boyfriend?
Blurred Mirrors says : So... Rose petals in a jar?
Liz - Rose Petals In A Jar says : Yup
Blurred Mirrors says : Care to explain that to me in... 5 mins?
Liz - Rose Petals In A Jar says : Not now?
Blurred Mirrors says : Nope I can't run that fast
Liz - Rose Petals In A Jar says : LOL

Wait... Did he just ask me out?

Okay, Liz. Keep your cool.

Blurred Mirrors says : See you at the Avenue Park

You cannot send any messages as he/she appears to be offline.











You have no right to laugh at me when I say that that was most probably the first time I was meeting a guy alone.
I mean, asides my dad but that was when I still loved Barney the purple dinosaur.

I threw on a dark purple long-sleeved shirt, my favorite scarf & beanie & I was off.

As I was running, I saw Nick sitting on a bench casually, talking to an adult figure next to him.
He looked up & saw me walking towards him.

He said something to the adult after signing something & saying goodbye. I plopped down next to him.

"Hey." he said.
"Hey. Who was that?" I asked.
"Um, some guy." he said, waving his hand.

Was it my imagination or was he... Blushing?

"So... Care for a walk?" he said chivalrously.
"That'd be nice." I said.






"Why rose petals in a jar?" he asked me after a minute of silence.
"Want the full story or cut it short?" I asked.
"We have a whole park to walk around. Take your time." he said, casually slipping his hands into his pockets.
I smiled at him, which I thought stupid since it was kinda dark if not for the full moon.

"Well... I had a dream." I said after taking a deep breath.
"You said that."

Why did he sound so amused?

"Just promise me that you won't laugh." I warned him.
He nodded.

"I was walking. Running. Whatever I was doing, I was moving around some empty place. Suddenly, it was raining rose petals."
I shot him a glare just in case he was pretending not to laugh but actually he was already smirking.

He wasn't. His face was so serious, so still.

"There were so many." I continued, encouraged by him taking me seriously for once. "So many soft petals falling about from the sky. & I had a thought to myself, why waste such beauty when one could capture it? So I had du out a jar & ran everywhere, trying to collect the most rose petals."

We stopped walking. We were a few feet away from the gate.

"You can stop laughing now." I said, still not looking at him.
I took in a deep breath before mustering all the courage I had to look at him.

He was deadpan serious. He was even thinking about what I said.
I didn't know why but my heart was just, like, filled with something. Something I can't describe in words.

I never had someone taking me so seriously before. Usually, they'd think of me either as:

a) The freak stuck in her own little, itty-bitty world of doodles

or

b) The joker Liz

But never someone who had thoughts.
That was what Nick made me feel. A person who has ideas.
& he was the first one to listen to it.

"I'm not laughing." he finally said, gravity pulling him back down to planet Earth.
I gave him a half-smile.

"Actually... That was really unique. Rose petals in a jar... I like it." he finally smiled.

My heart was beating so fast, probably because, well, he listened.

"You know what I thought that sentence meant? At first?" he asked me.
"Hmm?"
"I thought it meant you were trying to trap love inside. Or maybe keep it for yourself, so that if you ever felt a little heartbroken, you'd take another piece to mend it. I dunno. Now you don't laugh." he said, giving a small laugh.

I thought about that.
It was good. I mean, if you looked at it in another perspective.
Rose does represent love if you knew the secret languages of flowers.

"I'm not laughing." I said since I realized he was peering down at me.

We were walking silently once again until he asked me, "How come I haven't seen you around before?"
"Mmm... Just transferred." I shrugged. "It'd be hard to miss me, you know." I joked.
"I know." he said, his voice soft.

So soft I had to turn around & was trapped at the depth of his greenish, brownish eyes, so hypnotising.

I was in a trance, not noticing the wind getting mercilessly stronger.

"Hey. You could catch a cold." he said & took off his scarf & wrapped it around my neck.

One hand was on the scarf, the other placed at the small of my back.

He pulled me closer & the next thing I knew, we were kissing.

For the past few days, I began hanging out with Nick.

Okay, maybe 'hanging out is too casual of a word. Maybe the right word here is, well...

Dating.

After school, he'd walk me back to my house, kiss on the front porch.

If we had enough time, we'd walk around the park & talk about, well...

About nearly anything.

I told him about my worries of losing my imagination, myself.

Growing up.

& I even admit, to a certain point, that I was feeling a little too envious towards the mysterious kid Piccasso

I haven't laid eyes on his-slash-her artworks, but I have met his-slash-her fans.

He told me that his parents keep pushing him to the limit, to be better than he already was.

I was kind of shocked to hear it because he was brilliant in art - if you had taken a look at any of his artwork, you would be satisfied enough.

I had voiced out my thoughts but he merely smiled, which only made me kiss him even more.

It was heaven.

Those days were pure, utter heaven.

Until one day. The day.

We were walking in the park, as usual.

By then, the sky was already brimming to a dark indigo for a night sky after the sunset.

We past an elderly man, who, I noticed, stop in his tracks as Nick & I passed.

He nearly ran after us & if it wasn't for the fact that he had been yelling Nick's name, we wouldn't have noticed him at all.

Nick turned around to the man & said, "Yes, may I help you?"

He's so polite.

"Yes." the man said - well, no, he sort of panted. "I was wondering... Aren't you Nicholas Landon, the boy painter?"
I was very tempted to say Well, Duh because Nick was the best painter I had ever known.
But I kept my mouth shut as I felt his hand clamp tight over mine.

"You know... The one who was on the news the other day? Oh! Remember? You had an interview in the Daily Dateline newspaper? What was the article again...? Ah, Miracle Kid Painter. The future Picasso!" the man said, getting excited by the minute.

& that's when it hit me.
That's when an invisible puzzle just suddenly appears in front of me & solve itself.

That was why, I realized, Nick looked, sounded so familiar.
I read that article a few days before I met him.

I still remembered my fits I threw in my room silently.

It wasn't because I saw him in my dreams, I thought in my head.
Ha! No, it's because he was the boy from my nightmares.

He's the freaking kid Picasso.

I snatched my hand away from his the minute his grip on mine tightened.
Not only that, I ran away.

Not even bothering to give a quick glance at his face.










I avoided contact with him for nearly 3 days in every possible way of communication.
I screened his calls, blocked him online, got my mom to tell him that I was busy when he called the house phone.

On the third day, my mom entered my room to 'borrow my comb'.
A sign that I have come to recognize that she wanted to have a 'talk' with me.

"Anything wrong, Lizzy?" she said just as she reached the doorway out of my room.

& just when I looked at my mom's face, seeing the hint of concern painted all over her face, it all came out.
Everything.

About how familiar he looked to me, even though I knew that I had never seen him before.
About us talking.
About how hurt I felt when I found out who he really was.

Finally, when everything - & I do mean everything - was out in the open, my mom did something she hadn't done for a long time.
She hugged me, telling me to cry it all out.

Which I did.




Having your heart broken, I thought, was one thing.
Going to school with a broken heart was another.

Although my mom had shown me the caring, therapist side of her, she didn't let me get off the hook.
I still had to go to school ("Broken hearted or not." my mom added).

I didn't want to go to school. All I wanted to do was just stay at home & sketch.
Probably something fiery, I thought.

As I was walking down the hallway to my locker, I was already picturing how my doodle would turn out.
Probably a tinge between furious spikes & gentle lines.

& it'd be a shade of gray. A normal shade.
I could imagine it as a serene, gray sunset, the wispy lines the clouds, the spikes the lines of the setting sun.

I was so dazed of the picture I beautifully pictured that I didn't realze that I had already opened the locker door.
Just as I reached for my text books (yes, there were text books for art schools, like The Visual Arts & History of Artworks), something caught my eye.

A jar.
I already knew what it was before I even looked at it but I took it out anyway.

It was a jar filled with...

Rose petals.

Tears were stinging my eyes but I didn't want to cry.
Not in public, anyway.

God, that'd be embarrassing.

Along the jar, there was a sticky note stuck on the front of the jar.

Captured beauty.
See ya in class.

- Nick

Well, even though I was still ticked off with him, I couldn't help but grin.
The guy could still joke around even if he knew he was in hot water.

I kept the jar inside my back pack, don't ask me why.
As a keepsake?

"Class, settle down. Class." Mr Nobleson's voice drawled.
I blinked & looked at the doodle I, well, doodled.

Wow, was the first thought that popped into my head.

What I saw was something... Well, something different.
No wispy lines.
No furious spikes.
No blue - um, so to speak - waves.

Nothing.

I can't exactly describe it but what I saw there on that paper was a blank.
Don't get me wrong, there's definitely some doodle on the paper.

But it was just so void of emotion. It's just...
Empty.

But I didn't have the time to find out what the doodles told me of my moods since Mr Nobleson banged on the table for silence.

The class settled down a few minutes later & he asked primly, "Well, who would like to present their project?"

Project..?
What proj-

Damn!
The project.

The what inspires you most project.

Dammit, I forgot!
All because I was hanging around with Nick.

Speaking of the devil, he entered the room at the exact moment & quietly sat down behind me.
I tried to ignore his presence.

Um, in vain.

"Any volunteers? Anyone? No? No one? Well then, we sh-" Mr Nobleson cut himself off, which meant that he found the volunteer.

The brave soul.

"Ah, how very kind of you, Mr Nicholas." the teacher said & sat back behind his desk.

I turned around so quickly that I could have sworn I heard my neck cracked.
Yet it didn't hurt.

His face was filled with that normal scowl of his but when he looked at me, the scowl momentarily vanished & he winked at me as he walked his way to the front of the class.

He winked!

Ugh.
I was so disgusted with myself when I felt all excited that he winked.
At me.

"& the one thing that inspires me the most..." he said mysteriously as he slowly opened his masterpiece.

The room was silent until I gasped.

It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

What I could make out was the back of someone - a girl, obviously since the hair was very long - & she seemed to look far away.
The artist managed to paint in all the fine details, such as the imperfect hair, frizzy at all the wrong places & even the way her elbow jutted out of the desk.

It was so brilliant. So beautiful.

& that was when I realized why he was such a genius.
Such a kid Picasso.

It wasn't because of his talent, the minor details filling the page - well, I mean, it is but partly.
Mainly, it was because of his passion.

His passion to paint. That's why he was so well-known.
That piece was just filled with so much passion that you could already tell at one glance that it was effortless for him.

Mr Nobleson took of his glasses in amazement & patted Nick on the shoulder, compliments flowing from his mouth like a flood broke from a leaking dam.

I couldn't help but notice the wince within Nick's smile.








The dismissal bell rang.

As I closed my locker door just to have a quick peek at my jar, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Nick's smirking face from nowhere.

"Hey." he said.
"Hey." I said. "I liked your artwork."
He shifted his gaze uncomfortably.

We were already walking out of school.

"Now I guess I know why you're the kid Picasso." I admitted as he kept quiet.
"Ngh." he grunted.
"I don't understand why you couldn't have just told me."
"Because! You talk about him as if he was your sworn enemy. I don't want to be your sworn enemy. I want to be-"

"Excuse me?" An elderly man said as he peered up to Nick's face.
"Are you Nicholas Landon, the child prodigy?"

"Yes. Yes, I am." Nick said politely, but in a snappish kind of way.
"In fact, I'm not only the great child prodigy, I also happen to be with one of the most brilliant teen artist. See this girl next to me? She happens to be the world's greatest sketcher of all time! I could show you her artwork one day, sir."

& with a nod, he left the poor guy & we were walking ahead.

"You were saying?" I said quietly, trying my best not to laugh.
"Oh? Was I saying something?" Nick asked.
I swattered his shoulder.

He was so sweet, so cute, so talented.
So unbelievably perfect.

"Thanks. For that." I muttered when I remembered the previous scene.
"Aw, it's nothing." he said uncomfortably.

Guys always get uncomfortable whenever called 'sweet'.
They also get uncomfortable when around weepy women.

Yes, I was about to cry.

"You're my Picasso." I smiled as he bent down to kiss me in the park.










I'm now doodling on my notebook while chatting to Nick online.
He's typing nonsense.
Sweet nonsense.

Guess what?

My desk is practically full.
I mean, what with all my sketches - not to mention with the dozens of sketches Nick drew - along with an equal amount of jars filled with rose petals, only in different colors.

But my most favorite & precious treasure?
The portrait of that girl, staring out with his tiny signature on the right-hand corner.

Three words

"Aah!" I shriek as the feeling of cold water trickle down my back.

It's no joke wearing a two-piece when some guy pours water down your back.

"Dave!" I say, chasing after him.
He looks over his shoulder, lets out a laugh & dives into the pool, swimming to the other end of the pool. I dive in & swim after him.

I finally manage to catch up & grab onto Dave's ankle. I tug it & he tries to kick.
I pull him down under water with me.
His light hair was floating around his head & he sticks his tongue out at me.

Right after that, he goes above the surface, me following his lead.
I could hear him gulping a big breath of air to start his race all over again.

My cousin, Josh & his girlfriend, Marsh are currently making out behind the trees, I know. They always go there when they 'excuse themselves'.

One is to make out. The second reason is because they want to leave me alone with Dave. For a weird reason, they think we 'connect'.
Please. We connected.

He's my ex. Unlike all the other ex-couples in the History of Exes, we are the odd one out.
We're not bitter toward each other - we always hang out at the pool or somewhere else.

It was depressing knowing that we aren't going to go on a date again because, like I said. We broke up.
Who goes back with their exes? I mean, that's totally against all rules of... Well, something.

I finally give up chasing after him - you would too after trying to chase a champ swimmer - & lounge at the curve of the pool, watching him get up & shaking the water out of his moppy brown hair.

He catches me looking at him but I turn away quickly enough to look down at my feet, playing with the water ripples.
From across the pool, he calls out my name & gives me a sign to call him.

I nod & give the thumbs up.

He smiles & walks away, out of my sight, out of my reach.











What sucks about hanging out with your ex is that it gives off the vibe that I'm still in love with her, Jamelia - or as I called her, Jamie.
What sucks even more is that... It's true.

I get up & leave the pool, after reminding Jamie.
I pass the rows of tall trees, a perfect make-out location. I hear breathy sighs & heavy breathings. As I pass it, I say, "See ya, guys."









"My little Davey is going for a date!" my mom coos as she sees me put on a Polo shirt.
"Mooooooom!" I groan, trying to make her stop the cooing.
"But it's true! You're going here & there, as if a tornado might struck. Davey, are you late for your date with Jamelia?"

Yea, my mom didn't know that we broke up - she's pretty old-fashioned. I mean, she's happy when I go out but she thinks that if you see a person longer than 2 months, we're officially married or something.
Which is why I get nervous when she passes tux shops & stop to gaze at it for awhile & glance back at me.

"Yea, mom. I'm late." I said exasperatedly.

Of course that woman can tell I'm late since I just came out of the shower & went straight to my closet to get something & started to practice the speech I'd say to her later with the mirror.

"Ciao, Mom!" I say after one last check & run out of the door.










"Jamie, it's for you!" my mom sings.
"Coming." I say & wish that my hair isn't so hard to groom.

I've nearly finish the conditioning, so all I have to do is comb my hair & put on a little more Chanel & I'm ready.
I pass a quick glance at the clock & realize that he's late.

Smiling, I remember the times when he always comes to the my front porch late.
But, then again... I wasn't done yet myself.

My parents doesn't know that we broke up. I sorta feel guilty at times for not telling them but he's kind of the first guy I've introduced to them & it took them a month to trust him.

If I say anything about me not being with him, my parents'd give me this life-long lecture about how boys are not meant to be toys & all that.
Seriously. You'd think that being celebs' personal therapists, my parents would be a little bit more understanding.

Anyway, I am being all stressed on not tripping on my - I quote from my mom - floor-sweeping dress down the stairs.
But for all the worry & stress in the world, personally, I think it is totally worth it.

He's there, like I said, looking so, so hot in that familiar no-tie-casual tux, panting - probably from the running.
His hair is still damp & ruffled, but I could tell he tried to comb it with his fingers - he hasn't change since.

I know that he must've been running late since he didn't have time to dry his hair, let alone comb it.
& he still looks so, so cute.

"Hi." he pants.
"Hi." I smile.

A flash suddenly goes off & I blink at the source, which is my mom humiliating me with a dinosaur-era-looking camera.

Geesh. It isn't like it's my first date, you know.
It isn't even a date (much to my chagrin).













I stare at her, who looks nearly as gorgeous as she does in a swimsuit - nearly.
The candle's flame is flickering between us, giving us this romantic atmosphere.

Which isn't the kind of atmosphere one normally wants for a break-up anniversary with their ex.

"So..." I say, clearing my throat.
"So...?" she smiles a small smile.

It's one of those things we did as a couple. I mean, hard to believe that I used to be really shy around her.
Then again, I was only thirteen at the time.

We barely talked in public but we smiled a lot. She made me smile.
One of the things I love about her.









It's half past nine as we walk under the moonlit park.
We aren't holding hands like we used to.

But we're walking side-by-side. Except he was walking a little further behind.

"Dave..." I call out softly.
"Mm?" he says behind me.
"Why did we break up?"

Silence. The worst kind of silence - awkward silence.

"You never said it, you know." he says as the silence passed.

I know what you're thinking. You're wondering what it was.
It was... Those three special words couples always say.

You know... The one which always involves the word love between I & you..

"I always did, but you never. Said it, I mean." he continues.
"I know."

I really did. I could still remember that first night he said it - he called & whispered I love you through the phone line.
I was speechless & just hung at the sentence "I..."

It's not because I don't, you know. It's because in those touching movies, especially the Walt Disney kind, the hero & heroine would look deeply into each other's eyes, say I love you & begin the passionate kiss.

I want that. I mean, genuinely & sincerely.
I don't want to be one of those couples who say I love you only because it was a hormonal thing.
I want to say it first & mean it, you know?
Yes, I believe in sincerity.










"Why do you tell me this now?" she asks in a quiet voice, not so much as a glance back.
"What do you mean why do I tell you this now?! I always told you!" I say, furious.

Where had she been the past few weeks after the break-up? Pluto?
Were my discretion too discreet?

"You just chose not to listen." I say, my voice softening because we never argue.
& also because we're in a public place at night - & people are trying to sleep.

"No, you chose to keep it yourself!" she yells.
"What?" I say. Not because I couldn't hear her - well, obviously it isn't because of that - but because she is yelling at me.
"You heard. You didn't tell me about this. If you did, I could've apologized at least!" she yells again.

I am resisting the urge to check her temperature. Is she on a high?!
She is putting the blame on me for not telling her when, may I recap, I kept asking her about it!

& suddenly, just suddenly, she bursts into tears.









"Maybe we should go back home." he says, looking down at me.
I sniff. He's being nice to me.

Same ol' nice Dave. That's the Dave I know.
I like.
I lo-

"Yea, maybe we should." I say.

The rest of the walk's plain awkward. The kind where you just rather jump off a cliff then walking alongside your ex in a park in total silence.



We reach my porch & he clears his throat, says goodnight & left me standing there.

& I watch him walk away.












We haven't talked since that night. It's so awkward that even Josh & Marsh notice it.
They keep trying to make us talk but we just keep looking at anything - anything but each other.

"Well... I'll see you guys, kay? I've got some chores to do." Marsh says & we wave back at her.
"Hmm, you know, I think this is a good time to clean my room? Chiao." I say & walk away.

So shoot me. Lamest excuse I've given in my whole life.







"Hey, Josh..." I say.
"Mm?"
"How did you know Marsh's the One?" I ask.

He chokes on his Coke. Can't say I blame him.
I mean, hello, I'm guessing that it was a leetle bit too personal.

But we're cousins of the same age. Different gender, maybe.
But that's probably why I asked him, not Marsh.

I wanna hear it from their view.

"Well..." he clears his throat. "Lemme ask you three questions, & you answer them, alright?"
I nod.

"What do you feel when you see Dave?" he asks.

I blush. Am I that obvious?
Are we that obvious?

"Tell anyone & I swear I'll tell Marsh about your geeky Power Rangers collection." I glare at him & he laughs, "Alright, alright. Now answer my question!"
"Well... I feel... I dunno, happy. Like the world's okay."
"Okay, next question : Who's the first person you'd think of when you have a problem?"
"Dave." I say automatically & immediately clap my hands on my mouth.

God, why am I so pathetic??? It's the least I could do but to slap my face back to reality.

"& finally... Are you always thinking of what to do when you're with Dave?"
"Yea! That's totally how I feel!"

"Okay, now lemme tell you what these all mean : I feel all this about Marsh. I always feel happy seeing her, I always tell her my problems & I always get this paranoia of doing something stupid in front of her. That's how I feel. So good luck with Dave."

He winks & leaves me thinking.



"Um, miss? Miss?" a voice says.
I look up & saw a blonde guy smiling at me.
"Oh, hey, Brad." I said casually.

Brad's the waiter working at the cafe at Level 6, near the pool area. He's cool, a uni-student. Went out with him once but he wasn't my type.
So I'm kinda close with him. He's like my third closest guy friend, after Dave & Josh, of course.

We're making small talk & he's telling me about his problems with his on & off girlfriend - I dunno, some chick who keeps boffing off with his best friend or something. The details are pure soap opera material, I swear.
So, as a good friend should, I calm him down & advice him that maybe his girlfriend's just not committed while he's cleaning the tables & collecting tips from the customers.

As the cafe empties, we're all alone, still talking.

I turn my back just for a second - a second - & kept going, "Uhhuh. Yea" each time Brad pause his story to pick up the fork left on the floor. For some reason, Brad stops talking & I feel that something's wrong.
I turn around & saw Dave, glaring murderously at Brad, God knows why.

One second, Brad was standing on his feet. The next, he's on the floor after Dave gives a punch at the jaw.
Dave's standing at his feet, breathing heavily like he was fighting the most important war the world depends on.

I'm walking towards Brad, saying, "Oh my God! Dave! Brad? Are you alright?"
Dave stops me & grabs me by the wrist, dragging me to a secluded area, leaving Dave & his bleeding nose on the floor.

As we reach a shady place at a corner of the 'A' block, I snatch my wrist away from his grasp & half-shriek, "Dave! What's wrong with you?! Why're you acting all weird? Why did you punch Brad?!"
He looks at me in the eye & there's something about that look that just makes me want to run away. Something so... Intense going on in his head.

He's silent & keeps staring at me with that intense look.
I look away from his eyes - those hypnotic eyes - & run my gaze across his clenched fist by his side.

"Dave! Your hand... Oh God, Dave." I sigh & it's my turn now to drag him to the tap that's always at each corner of the block.

I run the water on his hand & begins the nagging.
"Dave, why did you punch Brad? You know, I can't believe you'd do something like that! & look, you could've injured your hand. Look at your skin, Dave! God, don't be so irresponsible. I mean, seriously."

Seriously. His fist's red & raw, the knuckles white because he's clenching his fist tightly as I gently massage it under the rush of the water.

But I didn't stop the nagging. Ohh no, I'm so not done with him yet.

"... See? You've been watching too much of NYPD. Don't do those kind of punching acts, acting as if you're saving me from God knows what! Thank God you didn't fracture your hand or I-"

I didn't get to continue my nagging because at that moment, he grabs me by the shoulders, cups my face with both his hands - including the swollen one - & kisses me.

Dave, my ex-boyfriend, who I had been dating for nearly 3 years, is kissing me.
& I'm kissing him back as I close my eyes.

& this rush of memories floods into my brain, snapshots of us together at the pool, at the squash court...
Us together.

& then, the most horrid memory crashes into my sight.

I was yelling at him, he was yelling at me. The threatening tears were stinging my eyes, I remembered.
& just like that, he got out of the pool, dried himself with the towel & left me there.


I opened my eyes & realize that his hands are at my waist, holding onto me as if he doesn't want to let go.
& me guilty with charge of running my fingers through his hair like I always wanted to.

I push him away, though the bigger part of me protests & he staggers away.

"Wh-what?" he says raggedly.
"No. We can't do this. We broke up." I say, shaking my head.

I'm not risking the level of looking at him. Because if I do, I know I'm going to lose it.

"Why won't you say it? Why won't you just say it?" he says, his temper getting the best of him.
I keep silent but he goes on.

"You know, when you broke up with me, at the pool, I thought that there, at that spot, I'll start distancing myself away. But no, you keep dragging me in. Dragging me into this whirlwind, this... This... Geez, Jamie! I thought that at that moment, I'll start hating you. I planned it all. I kept telling myself I'll find a new girl, someone more... More there for me. But you just can't see that I'm trying my best to start over. & you make me - hell, no. Remind me the reasons why I like you, why I lo-"
"Don't say it!" I scream in a whisper.
"Why are you so afraid of those three words, Jamie?" he says huskily. "Three simple words."
"Because... Because..."

& it all spills out, like lava erupting from a volcano. I can't take it anymore. I really can't.

"... & the worst is, I want to mean it. I want to really mean it. But I've never said it before. Not to anyone, not to my mom, nada. & face fact, you broke up with me, remember?" I say.
He looks at me as if he really wants to hit me, only he can't because I'm a girl.
"You broke up with me, querida."

Damn him & his stupid Spanish lessons.

"How can I break up with someone when I just love him?!" I scream.

He gapes at me with astonishment, like he's dreaming.
I can't believe it. I said it.

I said it.

He drags me & our faces are now inches away, his lips on mine.

"Now. Was that so hard?" he says against my lips.















"DAVE!!" I yell as the cold water trickle down my back.
He laughs & runs away, doing laps around the pool.

I swim after him & catch him, tugging on his ankle.

I finally caught him.







She caught me. I lift her with my ankle & pull her hand with mine.

"You caught the wanted. Here's the reward." I say & give it to her.

I hear someone laughing - correction, two someones - & turn around, her in my arms, her hands around my neck.

"Get a room!" Josh laughs & I stick a tongue at the two.
"Right back atcha, bud!" I wink & get out of the pool, Jamie behind me.

I pass the cafe with her & see Brad, that waiter guy, waiting on people.
He's got a bandage on the bridge of his nose.

I enter the cafe & apologized to him.

He looks at me & notice my hand around her shoulders, hers around my waist.

He gives a wink at Jamie & walks away, giving me a nod.







"What was that all about?" Dave asks me as soon as we left the cafe.
"Nothing." I say innocently.

I did mention that I confide everything to Brad like he does me?

"Hey, where are we going?" I ask.
"Somewhere." he says innocently, mocking my tone.

I mock-punched him & he laughs & I chase him.

He leads me to a familiar secluded corner at a familiar block, near a tap.







It's getting hot & heavy. Her fingers are running through my hair, my fingers are roaming at the collar bone area.
We get up for air & a familiar - too familiar - voice pass us & whispers, "Bye, guys."

Cheating Hurts

[EDIT] This isn't my work of writing. It's just a chain but... It is a story & it's bittersweet.
... In a suicidal way.




--

Girl is on the couch making out with a
hot guy, her cellphone rings...

Girl: Hey babe, I'll be right back. I
need to take this call.

Boy: Yeah okay. Sure.

She walks into the next room.

Girl: Hey! What's up?

Guy [on her cellphone]: Nothing, hey
hun, do you think we could go do
something later tonight? What are the
chances my boss let me get out early.

Girl: Yeah, sounds great!

Guy [on her cellphone]: Okay. I'm right
by your house, I'll come to get you
now.

Girl: That's not such a good idea...

Guy [on her cellphone]: Why not?

Girl: I'm busy right now... sorry.

Guy [on her cellphone]: With what? It's
our anniversary! You didn't make any
other plans did you...?

In her head she yells, SH!T! Throws
clothes back on quickly.
Girl: No, no... I was just eating...
with the family.

Guy [on her cellphone]: But I thought
you said your family was away this
weekend, up at your resort?

The guy walks into her house, turns the
corner into the hallway. Goes
downstairs, and finds his bestfriend on
her couch, half un-dressed, trying to
pull his pants back on and his
girlfriend pulling her shirt over her
head.

Guy: What the hell is going on?!

Girl: I can explain! Please listen to
me!

Guy: Edward? How could you do this to
me! Minnie! I thought you loved me! And
yet, your sleeping with MY BEST
FRIEND!

Girl: John...!

John with tears in his eyes, he rushes
out of room, and slams the door.

Edward climbs out of the window, starts
his car, and drives off down the
street.

Girl runs after her boyfriend.
Yelling...

Girl: NOOOO! Please!! Come back, John!
Please?!
She falls down and
cries.

John turns around, looks straight at
his girlfriend in tears.

John: Why? Minnie, why? I loved you! Oh
God, I'm in love with a whore. Does
this mean I have to pay you now?!
Here take this as the cash.
He drops a
ring box on her lap.

She opens the ring box. Her jaw
drops... Before her eyes is a diamond
wedding ring.

Girl: You were going to propose?

Guy: Yeah... how dumb was I?
And as he
slowly walked back to his car, his
headlights faded... And she was in
despair.


Later that night, the girl got a phone
call from the police saying he just
jumped off the bridge and killed
himself.

The Assembly

It all happened one Monday - typical assembly day. I mean, yeah, everyone hates Monday - including me because who wants to loll around listening to people talking about this & that?

So there I was, walking down the old hill to the school gates, early-late as usual (early-late’s my term of being late but considered early in my book. Hence, early-late).
Other seniors past me by, rushing to make it before 7:45 in the morning, which I don’t get. I mean, why bother rushing when you just know you’re not gonna make it?
The bag on my shoulders were swinging, right, left, right, left.
It was something like strolling - only not at a park but the school’s hill, approaching the school gate.

“Excuse me?” a prefect said, stopping me.
“Yea?” I said, feigning innocence.
“Where’s your IDC?” she asked.
IDC was our school Identity Card. So that, instead of asking what’s your name & all that, you can just take a look at the ol’ card & nod & say what a nice name you have.
That’s what Mrs Jones kept saying anyway.
In other words, it’s just to make us an easier target for giving us fines by the prefects.

“Oh. Well, I didn’t bring it.” I said calmly.
“Well, I’m afraid I’d have to give you a fine. What’s your name, please?” the prefect asked.
I gave her the details - name & class.
While I was telling her all that, I was fancying this whole James Bond scenario. You know, where James Bond goes all macho, facing the villain, saying his trademark line : “The name’s Bond. James Bond.” & the villain’d say, “Well, I’m afraid I’d have to kill you.”

It kinda makes the scene more exciting instead of facing some boring senior, giving you fines. I mean, really.
Typical day, the thought kept echoing in my head while I just hummed a happy tune.

“Hurry up, please.” one or two prefects said to me as I past by them, dropping my bag on the floor, near the classroom door & rushing up the staircase while putting on the blue-striped blazer, adjusting my tie, displaying my IDC.

“Hurry up, please.” another prefect said as I went into the hallway.
I tried my best not to roll my eyes. Who knew? Maybe there’s this rule against rolling your eyes at higher authority figures.

I went into the hall & tried my best not to smile at the familiar surroundings - the rowdy students, all restless waiting for the Chairman of our school to arrive. The prefects giving fines to said restless students. & us, the latecomers - most notorious of all was me. If there was this secret gathering place for prefects, I’d have been blacklisted, a black & white picture of me hung in the “Late-comers” hall of fame.

Still smiling, I lined up behind a few boys, taller than me. Meaning, they’re older than me. Because as far as I’m concerned, there was no boy taller than me & happened to be my age.
Except for Garrett, of course. But hey, he’s always tall & he’s already with what’s-her-name.

The prefects ushered us to these seats, which I’ve labelled Middies because, it’s smack right in the middle - perfect for private whispers & snickers. The prefects would be too caught up with the other students making noise at the side.
Yes, us students have a strategy. It was really rare at that time that I actually got to sit in the Middies. It’s like every students’ dream to sit there & I was taking my seat at the dream spot with people I didn’t know then.


I was feeling a little uncomfortable. I mean, c’mon. Like you wouldn’t get uncomfortable when sitting in between of two older guys, who, might I add, were complete strangers to me?

One was busy occupying himself with his other friend on his left. The other on my right was looking equally uncomfortable, fidgeting with the black buttons on his blazer.

“Students, please rise.” a prefect’s voice bounced off the walls. The students rose like zombies, probably still half-asleep.
“We will now sing the national anthem & the school song.” The familiar tune of a piano chimed & we all began to sing our country’s anthem.

Whenever I sang aloud, I couldn’t help but wonder why people kept looking at me (& I couldn’t help but feel please when I answer myself in my head).
Everyone kept turning around to look at me - including the guy on my right, to my immense pleasure.


After singing aloud, we stood up as the Chairwoman walked in the Hall, her stilletto heels click-clacking against the wooden floor.
She greeted us & we greeted her back, with the same sing-song voice we always put on to impress teachers.
It’s a tradition.

When we sat down, she began her weekly morning chirping - example : “So how are you students today? Have you had your breakfast? No? Do you know, dear students, that breakfast is the most important meal of the day?”

I said the last sentence at exactly the same time the chairwoman did. I got plenty of approving looks, majority of them reading, “Not bad, kid”. I had shrug my shoulders coolly at them. The only look I got different was from guy on my right - disapproving. I looked at him & he pretended that there was something rather intresting of his nails.
Nice try, bud.
From there, she strayed from the small talk & began talking about that day’s topic: Sportsmanship.

My school? Yea, very big on this whole sportsmanship deal. Of course, it also majors our education & our soul.
Meaning, the students of the Darren Academy were no headbangers or on crack.

We all groaned - inwardly & outwardly - & she just ignored it & continued her speech.

“As students of this academy, we are known for our sportsmanship.” she said, filled with gusto.
“We must never jeer or boo when there comes a time your house may lose a game. We are sportsman, dear students! Let me tell you a story with a moral to end with.”

We were all waiting for some really elaborate story of some kid losing to his best friend & they fought & little happy bunnies jump out & save the day!
Whatever. Along the lines there.
What we didn’t expect was the story she was about to tell us…

“Do you know, dear students, the story of The Rabbit & the Tortoise?” she asked us.
That time, we made a noise twice the volume of our original sound.

She began her stories, impersonating high-pitched voices to deep, low ones. I mean, okay, that’d be enough for the lady’s dignity.

But why, oh why, did she have to do actions with her story? I mean, she even tried to jog on the spot with a suit!
A suit!
That was the woman who found our school - & there she was, jogging on the spot on the stage in her suit!


I don’t know her.

Then, the guy on my right started muttering furiously under his breath, “It’s the Tortoise & the Hare! The Tortoise & the Hare!”
At first, I thought he was suffering some sort of obsessive disease or something. Not alot of normal people get worked up over &-the-moral-of-the-story-is... stories.

People my age, I mean.

I looked at him & burst out in giggles. Really, giggles.
That caught his attention & he looked at me with the expression I think I gave him. The what’s-up-with-her? look.

You’d probably do the same, you’re wondering why I went into fits of giggles, right? I mean, if you saw him, you wouldn’t expect furious muttering from that kind.

He’s the kind who looked like he had never forgotten his homework, books, uniform. His blonde hair was crisp - neat-crisp. No mohawk, no mullet. Just crisp, wavy hair.
& his uniform? No wrinkles. None.

It looked like he didn’t move a muscle in that - no wrinkles! Not even those lines you have when you sit on it.

He had a Rolex - a Rolex, I swear. Not a Swatch - on his left hand, meaning he’s a right-handed guy.
He looked like a Model Student - something which showed that you could be a winner & a loser at the same time.

But since when were Model Students so… Attractive?
The guy’s teeth were straight & white - which explains the absence of braces. He had clear skin, but just a few freckles sprinkled over his nose.

The eyes were the most interesting - sharp. Razor sharp with that tinge of green in the blue, blue eyes.

“What’s so funny?” he whispered, his voice low & rough.
“N-nothing. It’s just…” I trailed off with a new batch of giggles.
“It’s true!” he protested in that soft voice.

I laughed again & he laughed with me. We didn’t even get into trouble because the prefects & the other students were too busy laughing at the sight of the Chairwoman hopping around the stage.





“& so, the rabbit-”
“Hare! Hare!” the guy next to me said again.
“- vowed never to take things for granted.” the Chairwoman ended & the students went wild with unneccessary claps & whistles.

“So, children. What is the moral of the story?” she asked.
The guy next to me instantly raised his hand before the others.
“You, boy. Next to that girl.” the Chairwoman said, pointing at our direction.

Immediately, I could feel everyone staring and grinning at me.

I have mentinoed that I’m one of those notorious students - so everyone was grinning at me because was sitting next to this incredibly good-looking guy.
& he didn’t happen to be my ex.

“Yes, well. No, I’m not answering your question, ma’am. I just wanted to point out that the title of the story is the Tortoise & the Hare. Not the Rabbit & the Tortoise.”

Pin-drop silence filled the atmosphere of the hall when he sat down. Suddenly, some joker began to clap & the audience clapped too.

To my greater surprise, the Chairwoman clapped too, laughing.

“My dear boy, I see that I am wrong.” she said with a smile.
He beamed back at her.

When we were dismissed, I whispered to his back, “How’d you do that?”
“Do what?” he whispered, his back still facing me as we got up.
“How’d you get the guts to do something a big of a joke like that & not get caught? Suspended?”
“Because I didn’t ask a stupid question. & I think that it’s better if she knew the truth then to live a lie.”

That was the last thing I heard from him when we went our seperate ways - him down the stairs, me walking ahead.



“So… Iz? What was with you & the guy?” he said casually as I took my tray & searched for an empty table.
“Me & who?” I asked distractedly as I found a nice, clean table.
“The blondie! Blonde boy & that correction of his!” Mark said exasperatedly, swinging his arms up & down, making a point.
“Oh, right.” I said & walked faster towards my table, hoping no one would get there first.
“Nothing.” I said as I munched on a biscuit.
“Right. Nothing.” he said with a grin.

You know, I don’t see why it was his business. Did we not break up last summer? Didn’t we?

I pointed it out - the whole him-being-my-ex but he kept grinning & pretended not to hear me.

“But you look pretty chummy with the guy. I mean, the way you two keep looking at each other. I used to look at you like that, you know.” he said.

Seriously. Why was I having this conversation with him? Him of all people? My ex.

Again, I voiced out my thoughts & yet again, he ignored me.

“What look?” I asked exasperatedly, wishing that he’d just go away. “What look? Are you saying we kept glancing each other of The Look? Hello, Mark! We just met at assembly - & you know, I don’t even know his name!”
“So? Love’s weird, you know.”
“Love?! I just broke up with you & here we are at the caf, you thinking I’m falling in love for some guy who pointed out to our Chairwoman that she was wrong about The Tortoise & the Hare?” I said & got up, put my tray away & left him there.

I didn’t see him much the following Monday.
Same goes for the Monday after that.

Not like I was searching for him or anything… Much.
& not just on Mondays (whoops!), but also on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays & Fridays.
Come to think of it, I have never seen him outside of that hall ever since then.


The next Monday, I gave up on my frantic search of the blonde guy. I decided that it was a waste of time, all that primping hair stuff & applying lip balm - yes, lip balm as the Dar’n Academy (that’s what the students call it) does not allow cosmetics.

& yes, we get fined if we ever dare to put on eyeshadow or even a hint of lipgloss.

Honestly, I wasn’t even paying attention to my surroundings - I wasn’t trying to search for a blonde, tall guy in the crowd anymore because it’s just not worth it.
Again, it’s not like I fell for him or anything. Please! I only talked to him once. & that was about The Tortoise & the Hare. Mui romantic.

Um, not.

“Over here, please.” a tall prefect - May, I think. She helped me with my RPP (Rubbish Picking Patrol) once - said, pointing to the Middies.

I perked up then because I’ve decided that Monday that the Middies were the first sign of good luck.
Superstitious & stupid though it may sound, it was proven to be true.

I sat down & felt a little snug between two guys. Finally, we stood up to sing the national anthem & the school’s song.

For a weird reason, I could sense something… I dunno, familiar near me. I didn’t realise what it was until after the singing.

Guess who?

“Hey.” he whispered to me with a grin.
“Hey.” I said back & wished that i had tied my hair nicely like the previous Monday.
“Long time no see.”
“I know.” Dammit! Why did I say that? I’m supposed to be the cool, collected one. Not him.
I mean, yea. Him too but… Forget it.

He grinned even wider, showing off his straight, white teeth like they do in those Colgate ads.

The familiar sounds of a woman’s high heels hitting against the wooden floors echoed the hall. We all turned around to glimpse our chairwoman, striding with confidence & elegance.

“Good morning, dear students. Today we have a little show to show to you.” she said into the mike.

Right after her words left her mouth, two things happened.
The silence of the hall evolved into buzzings of whispers & excited giggles of the students - yes, it is a true treat to watch something with the video projector during assemblies.
Another, the guy next to me, Blonde, groaned & sank his face into his hands.
‘What’s the deal?’ I thought & shrugged it off as the lights were dimmed like in the theatres.

The hall was in pin-drop silence - you could practically hear the humming of the video projector!
The screen went blank momentarily & at the time, Blonde gave a sigh of relief, for a reason I didn’t know of.

Something flickered on the screen & a video appeared. Starring… Blonde himself!
Talk about dead embarrassing.


But if it wasn’t for the fact that he was holding a guitar - a pretty fine guitar, may I add - & started strumming chords while singing along, I’d have started laughing.

Instead, I was just gaping & thinking how nice his voice sounded.




Why did they had to show that goddamn embarrassing show? If I’d known that they would show it during assembly - especially when I know that she is sitting right next to me again, I’d have never go on that talk show for Africa. Really.

But she looked stunned. I couldn’t blame her. She was sitting next to the guy on that interview show who was promoting the news that he went to Africa to perform for the orphans.
If I do say so myself.

If only I knew who she was…




Why did he look so good? Even better than Mark. & it took me a longtime to get over I’m.
& that’s saying something!
Seriously. He looked different in a good way. Why did I keep looking at him? Why couldn’t I just ignore the guy who was extremely cute in the whole blonde-clean look & singing in that show?

God. If only I knew who he was…




The moment we were dismissed, I whispered, “Hey, what’s your name?”
She looked at me, kind of startled to me talking to me.
“Iz.” she said with a smile. “You?”
“Me? Isaac.” I smiled back. “Never seen you around.”

Bold. I never knew I could be bold.

“Right back atcha. I’m in Year 8. You?”
I can’t believe it. She’s a year younger than me - but she looked so mature! She didn’t even care that nearly half of her hair was coming out from her messy ponytail & her fingernails were clear - no pink polish or anything.

The only hint of feminism were earstuds & her glossy red lips, glowing healthily, I couldn’t help noticing.

“Nine. Eight… You seem mature.” I voiced out my thoughts.
She grinned. We were already outside of the hall & standing amidst the bustling crowd of rowdy students.
“Excuse me, please go to your classrooms.” a prefect said behind me.
‘Shut up.’ I thought in my head & quickly felt the guilt rising up in my throat. That was the first time I ever thought back to a prefect.
I nodded instead & looked at my watch.
“Damn. Lee’s class is on now.” I said under my breath.
Her face blushed but she was still smiling.
“Yea, now’s Games for us. Catch you later?” she said & I gave her a nod. She smiled & turned towards the staircase, blending in with the crowd.
I went the other way.





I didn’t see him at the canteen again. It’s really annoying. I sat alone at a table, doodling in my notebook - not a diary-type of person - while munching on some snacks I bought.
Mark plopped down next to me, with a girl who looked familiar.

It wasn’t a very nice tradition I was looking forward to, I thought.

I looked at the familiar-looking girl closely & realised who she was - the girl who always hung out during Mark’s football practise
She was his stalker, his groupie. Something to feed my ex’s ego.
Harsh as it sounded, it was true.


“Hmm… I guess you found out who the blondie is?” Mark asked with a grin.
“Huh? What?” I said, getting my head out of the clouds.
“I said… I guess you found out the blondie’s name? Mrs Isaac?” he said, trying not to laugh.

I looked down at my doodle & felt my face heat up. I wasn’t the type who’d scribble the married names of their crushes!
I mean, talk about childish.

& there I was, a paper in my hand scribbled with the words, Mrs Isaac or Mrs Iz Isaac & a few hearts sprinkled on it.

God. What was happening to me?

Mark left after he finished his lunch - he was a fast-eater - & the girl leaned closer to me & whispered something to me.
“Congrats for finding your One.”

We shared a smile - I didn’t know why I was smiling but my lips automatically lifted up hearing her congradulations - & she went over to Mark. She looked my way & winked.

Maybe Groupie Girl’s found her One, too.




I was running late for class. Why, oh why did that prefect have to fine me just because I was running at the corridors?

Everyone does it! I mean, have they not seen the footballers practising in the hallways?

It was so unfair that I always get caught & the crime was still on! I swore under my breath when I was out of said prefect’s reach & started running all over again.

Just as I turned a corner - very tricky, you kinda have to lean on your right to not slip - I ran into someone.
Books & papers flew everywhere. If it were one of those cartoons, little stars & cuckoo birds would’ve been shown in the blank air too.
My heart was beating fast - out of adrenaline, regret & panic - & inwardly, I was praying that it wasn’t another prefect ready to fine me again when their companion has already struck.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry…” I said over & over again as I helped the victim pick up his/her books. As I gave it to the victim, I looked up & saw Isaac.
His eyes were so sharp, so blue, so hypnotic, I just kept staring back into the depths of it. I blanked out.

“Iz? Iz? Are you alright?” I heard him say, his voice low & deep.
“Yea.” I nodded. He smiled & looked down.
His hands were full with my books & mine with his.
We laughed quietly & passed the books to one another, careful not to drop it again.

“Are you late for something?” he asked me.
“Yea. I always am.” I said, giving a sheepish smile.
We shared a smile for a minute or two until a girl’s voice from behind purred, “Zack, we’re late for it.”
I looked over his shoulder & dropped my books. The sight of possibly Ms Darren Academy caught me off guard. It was rare to see someone looking so gorgeous in a school uniform - especially if it was a blue skirt & white blouse.
She had a matching watch on her slim wrist & her hair was crop-cut short, bobbing up & down as she purred again.
“Come on, Zack. We can’t be late.”
‘Zack? Zack? He’s Isaac, not Zack, you little…’ I fumed in my head.

I felt something warm over my hand & looked down. Isaac’s hand was ontop of mine - on purpose or by accident, I didn’t know.
Didn’t care.

I snatched my hand away from his grasp, picked up my books & stood up. “I’m late.” I said & walked off, trying to look calm & collected as I’d always hoped to be, hoping that the tears wouldn’t burst out like a leaking dam.





“You just had to do that, Jenny!” I half-yelled, flailing my arms around like a blind bat.
“We were late, Zack.” she said, leaning against the board coolly.

The classroom was empty, deserted. The meeting had been over & we were the only ones there, cleaning up the mess the members of the Environment club made.

“Yea, but you didn’t have to be like that! I can’t believe you’d stoop so low, Jenny!” I yelled again & slammed my fist against the closest table.
The thud! echoed in the emptiness of the room.
Finally. Jenny had finally shut up.

I looked up & saw her on the verge of tears. I didn’t care. She deserved it - why did she have to be so… So annoying? Why?
Didn’t I tell her we were over? So why was she still clinging on?

I stormed out & just because I still had the leftover anger, I slammed the door, hoping the sound would echo just like it did my fist.







I didn’t see her. I couldn’t find her. Except for that day in the canteen. I bumped into her when it was a busy day there, the crowd hustling over each other to get their meal first without spilling it.
I bumped into her & she muttered, “Sorry.” & went off.

Of course I wasn’t an idiot not to follow her. I followed her. But she walked in twists & turns, that finally, I couldn’t see her anymore.




I was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did I keep doing that to myself? Why do I keep falling for inappropriate guys? Why can’t, just one in my life, I find a sweet guy who does not think about himself & where his jockey-shirt is?

& if I did find him, why couldn’t he be single - just vacant for me?

Why? Is it some sort of curse? Maybe it runs in the family. I mean, my mom’s a single mom & she’s already on her 18th boyfriend since the divorce - which was only 2 months ago.

Is it because I’m some sort of guy-repellant? Is that it? I reek of some unearthly smell to repel guys instead of attracting them?

Guys are stupid.

I avoided him for nearly 3 weeks - everywhere I lay eyes on him, I avoid his gaze & act as if he was a stranger to me.
It was as if he was everywhere, now. Right after when I didn’t want to see him, I see him.
It hurts to me. It hurts to ignore that guy I sat next to - who showed his passionate love for The Tortoise & the Hare. It hurts to ignore that guy I saw strumming the guitar & singing about trees.

It just hurts.




I was running late for an assembly - surprise, surprise.
At the time, I didn't quite care or worry whether I'd bump into him or not because I was way behind schedule - I had three minutes to spare to adjust everything - from my tie, to my hair, to the knot on my shoelaces.

"Hurry up, please." a prefect said in a hushed voice. I brushed past him, hoping that there'd be some sort of bruise on his foot when I stomped by accident.
Oops.


I was desperately searching for a seat - I finally found one, but it was all the way to my right. So, I had to settle for manhandling my own chair & sitting next to some guy who probably stayed up playing Halo or whatever, since he couldn't open his eyes properly.




After the same ol' stuff - "Good morning, students! Have you eaten your breakfast today?" - she got down to business.
Pictures of luscious green trees glowed onto the wall from the projector. We all looked at it - wondering what in hell was happening? Was the projector on the fritz? - & the theme abruptly changed.
From healthy-looking, exotic trees blooming everywhere to pictures of dry land, soil erosion, tree stumps sprinkled everywhere.

It was depressing, knowing that mankind did that to the planet. The Chairwoman was only too glad to point that out.
Suddenly, I spotted a familiar-looking figure - it was Isaac!

Uh... I mean, it was Isaac.

Only he didn't have that goofy smile on his role-model face. Instead, he had a grim look of death plastered on it.
His shoulders were broad, I noticed, but they slumped when he viewed the slideshow.

He was holding a too-familiar-looking guitar in his hands. Soon, the Chairwoman said, "Give a big hand to... Isaac Moh!"
The students in my row cheered like mad, some even began chanting, "Zaaack, Zaaaaack!"

Which, yea, was dead embarrassing. They were older than me, remember that.

He sat on a chair which was put in the middle of the stage & the hall lights dimmed, the spotlight shining on him.
It brought out the blonde highlights of his hair, I couldn't help but think.


"It's not fair,
Life's not fair.
We shouldn't be this cruel.
If only you knew...

What you saw,
was no illusion.
What you think,
was just fiction.

Why can't you see,
something's wrong.
Why aren't we doing
Anything to save it?" he sang, gloomy chords echoing.


Tears were threatening to spill - I could feel it.
It was as if he was talking about... Us.

& the trees. Don't forget the trees.

But still. He was looking at me when he sang & we gazed at each other because his grip on me was iron-strong.

I looked down all of a sudden & developed a sudden interest to my nails.

"Thank you." his soft yet deep voice rumbled.
The girls (audibly) sighed & the guys (audibly) yawned.

I was probably the only student quiet, not knowing whether to sigh, yawn or - my option - cry.
At the time, I didn't quite care or worry whether I'd bump into him or not because I was way behind schedule - I had three minutes to spare to adjust everything - from my tie, to my hair, to the knot on my shoelaces.

"Hurry up, please." a prefect said in a hushed voice. I brushed past him, hoping that there'd be some sort of bruise on his foot when I stomped by accident.
Oops.


I was desperately searching for a seat - I finally found one, but it was all the way to my right. So, I had to settle for manhandling my own chair & sitting next to some guy who probably stayed up playing Halo or whatever, since he couldn't open his eyes properly.




After the same ol' stuff - "Good morning, students! Have you eaten your breakfast today?" - she got down to business.
Pictures of luscious green trees glowed onto the wall from the projector. We all looked at it - wondering what in hell was happening? Was the projector on the fritz? - & the theme abruptly changed.
From healthy-looking, exotic trees blooming everywhere to pictures of dry land, soil erosion, tree stumps sprinkled everywhere.

It was depressing, knowing that mankind did that to the planet. The Chairwoman was only too glad to point that out.
Suddenly, I spotted a familiar-looking figure - it was Isaac!

Uh... I mean, it was Isaac.

Only he didn't have that goofy smile on his role-model face. Instead, he had a grim look of death plastered on it.
His shoulders were broad, I noticed, but they slumped when he viewed the slideshow.

He was holding a too-familiar-looking guitar in his hands. Soon, the Chairwoman said, "Give a big hand to... Isaac Moh!"
The students in my row cheered like mad, some even began chanting, "Zaaack, Zaaaaack!"

Which, yea, was dead embarrassing. They were older than me, remember that.

He sat on a chair which was put in the middle of the stage & the hall lights dimmed, the spotlight shining on him.
It brought out the blonde highlights of his hair, I couldn't help but think.


"It's not fair,
Life's not fair.
We shouldn't be this cruel.
If only you knew...

What you saw,
was no illusion.
What you think,
was just fiction.

Why can't you see,
something's wrong.
Why aren't we doing
Anything to save it?" he sang, gloomy chords echoing.


Tears were threatening to spill - I could feel it.
It was as if he was talking about... Us.

& the trees. Don't forget the trees.

But still. He was looking at me when he sang & we gazed at each other because his grip on me was iron-strong.

I looked down all of a sudden & developed a sudden interest to my nails.

"Thank you." his soft yet deep voice rumbled.
The girls (audibly) sighed & the guys (audibly) yawned.

I was probably the only student quiet, not knowing whether to sigh, yawn or - my option - cry.***

We all cheered - well, the girls cheered. His rowdy friends cheered along too but being all macho reserved about it.
He sat at the far end, away from me.

Even though we were at the opposite ends, I could feel his gaze burning intensely to my head.










"Iz! Iz!" I heard him yell, ignoring the prefects' "Don't yell in the hallways please!" & "Don't run please!"
Biggest bet was that he was chasing me.

Whatever. Doesn't he have that purring machine of his? Huh? Why did he want me when he's got that Ms Darren Academy?
What is he, some weirdo school playboy who was messing with me? Was that it?

I pushed my way through the bustling crowd, trying my best to walk as fast as I can before the stupid tears blur my vision.








"Iz..." I said, holding a crunched-up manuscript book in my hand.
I can see her messy-haired head a mile away, walking with the crowd.








The dismissal bell rang & I grabbed my bag & rushed out of the classroom & headed straight to the linkbridge.
"Iz, wait!" I heard a voice - I turned around with my heart full of hope. The minute I saw my ex, my heart just deflated.

"What was that about? I mean, you don't usually act like that - making a scene." Mark asked, tagging along behind me.
"It's nothing." I grunted.
"It is something." he said & put a shoulder on my hand.

"Look. I may be your ex. But that doesn't mean I'm not your friend." he said, his hand still on my shoulder.
"It's nothing." I said again.
"I'm the guy here. & guys have an international code. The look on his face when you ran outta there? That was the look kids have when their dogs die."
I kept silent, not knowing what to say.

In a strange & metaphorical way, he made sense.

"Don't kill his dog." he said & walked away.










My mom was late.
It was a good thing too. I was still looking for her.

Some time after, I caught a sight of that hair - the cork-spiral rustic hair. The girl sporting the hair was putting her head in between of her knees & her back was rising up & down, indicating heavy breathing.
Maybe I'm not late enough, just in time.










"Iz? Iz?" I heard a deep voice rumble.
I refused to let myself be all stupid & gooey just hearing that voice - that voice who was singing a song about trees.
I looked up & thanked that I don't like wearing eyeliner - or else not only having tears streaked across my cheeks, I'll also have the added bonus of black mascara flowing.

"Iz... Haven't seen you in awhile." Isaac said, ignoring the tears.
Which was good. I kinda hated people who treated me like an alien when I cry - only because of the rarity of the prospect that I'd cry.

Me. The tough girl who comes late & didn't give a damn to prefects' fuss on my hair.
Crying.

"Yea well... I've been busy." I shrugged.
"Oh."

Awkward silence filled the air. I looked behind to glimpse that we were all alone - well, okay, not really alone. The security guards & a bunch of teachers were still loitering at the school gates.
But other than that, we were the only ones there.

"You know... About Jenny... Remember that girl who was... You know?" he asked, peering closely.

Okay, here it comes. Here comes the, "Yea, well. She's my girlfriend. So I'm sorry, we're just friends."
I was expecting it - in fact, I already thought of the perfect shrug for the statement & master the tone when I'd say, "Cool."

But he completely threw me off when he said, "Yea. We're not... Together."
I gaped at him - I couldn't help it.

Where was the "Sorry, my girlfriend told me to tell you 'Back off'"?
Or even something closer, like, "You're just not anywhere near my age"?

Was it my imagination or was he edging closer to me as he said sheepishly, "We've known each other since Year 1. &, you know... She gets intimidated. It's not often to see a girl talking to me."?















"I don't see how that can be true." she said huskily to me.
I looked up from my muffed shoes & I was staring at her lips. I just stared & stared - her lips were nice-looking. Soft, moist, red.
When she smiled, her lips looked even softer, moister, redder.

"I just wanna say..." After a long time of staring at her lips, I finally managed to continue my sentence. "... That I'm sorry."
"Why?"
"Because... It's my fault you got hurt &-"
"It wasn't your fault. It was..."
"Jenny's." I smiled.
"Jenny's." she smiled back.

We sat there, smiling to each other until she said, "I like your song."

& that was when I kissed her.









I shall never forget my first kiss with him - his face was hovering above mine, his lips a breath away from mine.
Finally - FINALLY - our lips clashed.
It was a different kiss. But the nice kind of different.

It was tender, sweet. & it felt like he was singing that song of his when we were kissing.

Not only was he a talented guy - what with the guitar & all - he was the perfect boyfriend.












The new environment club - or called the Tree Hugging Club amongst the students - was awesome!
We planted over two thousand trees at the Darren All-Girls' Academy school. It was spine-breaking but looking at the tree stumps just standing in the soil made me proud to know that we all planted it.

Finally, after two thousand seedlings being planted into the soil, I wiped my forehead with the back of my gardening gloves.
Suddenly, someone said behind me, "Hey, Zack."

I knew that voice - it was my girlfriend (that's right, my girlfriend), Iz, or Isabelle. I turned around & got the shock of my life when cold water got squirted into my face.

I chased her around & around. Finally, I caught up with her & tackled her to the ground. We lay there, giggling like maniacs.
She propped herself up & gave a kiss to me.


I love this.

Raining

"Marsha, it's been a long time since you've been out there." was what my dad said to me.
I turned around & saw him frowning upon me sitting on my comfy study chair, messing around with my MacBook.

"Aw... But dad! It's just the last day of exams! I think I should have a little peace & quiet with my Mac." I wined.
"Yes, but when are you going to hae some time with Mother Nature?" he queried.
"What's that got to do with nature?! You're holding a squash raquet - don't think I can't see, dad!"

I don't know why but my dad's been bugging me to play squash since two weeks ago.

"Oh fine."
I changed to one of my big, baggy school shirt, grabbed a pair of trackbottoms & my raquet & I was off to go.





[bop bop]
"Nice score, Marsha!"

I grunted as I tried to reach for the ball, but it was too far away.
I fell on the floor & hit it furiously.

"Why can't I always hit the ball?!" I said, fuming.

Mostly, I can only hit the ball once. Just once.
Then, I'd miss it or it hit my head.
Either one.

"There's always next week." my dad said in that cheer-up! tone.
I grunted & wiped my forehead with the hand-towel I brought down as I glugged from the bottle of water.



As I was walking from the squash court to the lift, I noticed it was raining.
"Marsha, I'm going to buy some stuff. You go on ahead." my dad said & threw me the keys.
I caught it & gave a nod.

A few guys, damp from the rain (& the pool) were running & headed to the guys' toilet.
Except for one.

He was cute - tall, brown eyes shaddowed by his long-ish brown hair. He headed to the lift.
So there I was, standing next to a cute guy in a swimsuit, waiting for the lift at the lobby... In my sweaty clothes.
Hmm... Truly the idealistic time for "true love" to appear, right?


[Ding!]

The guy went in & opened the lift doors for me. I smiled & said, "Thank you"
... A little too loudly, I just realised.
Anyway, he smiled back at me - so cute! & not just the baby-cute. I'm talking about GUY-cute - & looked at me, up & down.
I wasn't watching him doing that - I just saw that at the corner of my eye.

He smiled to himself & I smirked back, "You look nice yourself."
At first, he looked kind of surprise. I don't know why but he did.
Maybe he didn't know I could speak English - asides the Thank You thing.
I don't blame him, really. I do look a little Asian-ish.

& besides, this condo is roaming with foreigners. Some people live here while others are just renting for a vacation.

He didn't even have the sincerity to blush!
'Hmm... Well, at least this guy is modest.' I thought sarcastically.

"So... you new 'round here?" he said.
I tried not to laugh at his casualness. I mean, who was he trying to kid?
I've been staying in this condo since I was just a toddler & I haven't seen him around the area.
So who, exactly, is the new kid here?

"Maybe." I said flirtily.
"Maybe you'd like to have a tour guide around. Just in case you don't get lost. This place is pretty big, you know."
"Maybe I will."
"Maybe you will."

We stared at each other for a while, a smile playing on his lips, & I was just as bad.

"Hey... Why aren't we moving?" I asked.
We both glanced at the touch panel & realised that we didn't press the level button.
We burst laughing as we pressed the level number we were on.

"Hmm... Level 10, eh? Well... I heard people related to 10 are very lucky." he said.
"Lucky me. I happen to be 10... Plus six."
He smiled.
"I get the better luck. I'm 10 plus eight."
"Lucky you."
"Lucky me."

[ding]

"Guess you've reached your house."
"Yep. Bye." I gave him a last smile before I left the lift.















I didn't see him for a while. I mean, it wasn't like I was waiting for him.
Much.

I keep peeking out at my window, hoping to see him swimming around with his friends. The first thought that came to mind as I reached my room after that lift incident was, 'No way is he going to see me in my swimsuit!'

& I shall be sticking to that resolution.

'Aw... What the heck?' I thought as I grabbed the squash racquet, which was standing at the closet door for so long.
"Bye, dad! I'm off to play some squash!" I yelled out, my voice bouncing off the walls, loud enough for my dad to hear.









I threw the rubber ball up into the air & swung the racquet like mad, only making me seem like the crazy one around.
'I hate squash.' I thought miserably. 'I hate squash & forever I will!'

As I thought of that, I threw the ball into the air & hit the ball. I hit it so hard that it bounced off the ceiling so fast, like a meteorite. I ran to a corner to try & hit it again, but I missed.

"Bravo." I heard a deep voice say behind me, with the sounds of clapping.
At first I thought it'd been my dad, trying to tease me with his best immitation of Pierce Brosnan.
But I turned around & realised it wasn't my dad. It was him.

"Hey." I said casually, even though inwardly, I was freaking out!
What guy talks to me?
Not a very sane one, I tell you.

"Hey." he said right back. I couldn't help noticing that his eyes seem to be the same colour as the pool - clear blue.
"So... You play squash." he said as-a-matter-of-factly.
"Yea. But I'm no Nicole Davidson." I said as I tried to do warm-up for my right hand.
"Maybe. But I am." he said.

Man, this guy really has no modesty.

"Oh really?" I teased.
"Yes." he teased back, coming closer towards me & whispered, "Here." in my ear as he hugged me, putting his arms around mine, his right hand on mine, his left in the air, throwing the ball up in the air.
As it was in mid-air, he quickly grabbed both my arms & swung it with force, hitting the ball, making it bounce off the wall.

It came hurtling towards us - towards me!
Just as it got dangerously close, he quickly went in front of me - with grace, I must add - & caught the rubber ball with his bare hand.

You know, if this were those cartoons, that puny little black ball would turn red & steam'd be coming out from the guy's hand.

Oooh. Very romantic.
Uh, not.

As the realisation dawned upon me, I started to jump & squeal, "I did it! I did it!" over & over again with excitement.
Hey, I can't help it.
It's the first time I've manage to hit that stupid ball... Gracefully.

& also my first time having a guy's arms around me.

"Wow." I breathed.
"Yea, I know." he said, looking a little smug.
"So, what? You swim & play squash? What are you, Mr. Fit 07?" I joked.

Was it me or did his face turned redder for 10 seconds?

"Yea, well, I'm multi-talented." he finally said after the mentioned time.
"So what else are you good at?" I smiled.
"I should be asking you." he smiled back.
"Hmm... Well, you can see, I suck in squash. But I pay back for swimming."
"Swimming? We'll see about that." he said & grinned.
"Wha-? No! I mean... Uh..."

But it was too late. The damage was done.

"I'll be down five more mins." I said & ran to the lift.













Whoot-whoooo
Well, okay, it doesn't really sound like that but that's as close as I can put the wolf-like whistle he gave me when he saw me in the swimsuit.
What was to whistle at? The swimsuit was just a one-piece.

But it is a swimsuit.
& I am a girl.

"Let's swim." I said & dived into the pool.












We've been hanging out alot eversince that day. I found out his name - Josh Cartwrite.
I mean, that suits him. He does look like a Josh.
Which is kinda weird because I don't even know how a Josh is supposed to look like.

So for nearly two weeks, we kept meeting up, either to play squash or to swim in the pool.

A week before the Monthly test, I was stuck in my room, studying at the desk near my window.
I couldn't help but look out of the window - it wasn't like I was expecting to see Josh climbing a ladder to my room or something. It was just out of habit - & that was when I saw him.

& her.








"Marshee? Open up, Marsha!" my mom said loudly while banging on the door.
I didn't move to open the door nor did I move a muscle.
I just sat there with my tub of Baskin Robbins in my lap, staring blankly into space.

"C'mon Marshee. It's not healthy, a young girl like you staying in that room." she kept saying.

But the truth is, it's his fault. I mean, what was he doing?
Was he trying to lead me on? Or is he just some sort of freaky playboy of the neighbourhood?

I could hear my parents arguing outside my room, my dad defending for me, saying that this ism y first heartbreak, my mom saying that there are plenty of more fishes in the sea - or something like that.

My mobile phone rang & I pounced on it like a leopard whichw as starving itself to death.
"Oh, Marsh! What're you doing?" I heard a girl's voice say in my ear.
"Making a strike for girls being led on by idiotic playboys, that's what." I said back.
"Do you want me to come over?" the girl said.
The tears began to spring out of my eyes & I nodded my head vigorously.

Then, I realised that she can't see me nodding my head so I said, "Yes." in a small voice.
"Okay. So open up." she said & a knock was heard on my door.

I opened it & there stood my best friend with open arms.












"So you saw the guy giving a girl a piggyback. So what?" Carol said to me.

Carol's an amazing girl who's Ms. Popular. & she's not the show-offy kind either.
She's the kind who cares about her grades & not about her pink heels having mud on it or whatever.
Not only is she great & smart & athletic, she also has a boyfriend.
Steady for 4 months, I think with Garett.

Like that dude from Eragon, Garrett.

But he's a nice guy, no drugs or piercing or tattoos on him.
So he's approved.

"Yea, but it was a pretty girl. & she looked his age." I sniffed, hoping that the mucus doesn't drop in the Choc&Chips flavoured ice-cream tub.
"So? I've read this article about this guy - um, what was his name? Chris Hawt or something like that. Yea, the dude got a scholarship to Oxford in England, this is his 2nd year, I think. His mom? 36 years old." Carol said, hopping on the bed.
"2nd year? That means he's... 20?! The mom got him when she was in high school?" I said, trying really hard not to scream.
"Prom night." Carol said knowingly.
"Believe me, that girl on Josh's back? Not his mother."

I mean, okay. A girl who had her son when she was 16. Sure, whatever.
But the girl I saw on his back? So not a motherly look.
She was our age & wearing a bikini strap.
& she looks like a model.

The really, really naturally pretty kind, which everyone hates.

Well, okay. Maybe not everyone. Maybe just me.

As I explained it to Carol, she just shook her head & held my hand & said, "Don't worry. Sooner or later, it's gonna work out. I mean, from the way you told me about how you guys met, it must be, like, fate or something. True love based on fate does not just muss up & never get fixed again."
I smiled at her & squeezed her hand.

So what if I don't have him? I've got Carol.

"Hey. They say that squash takes out the anger. Why don't you play a game, huh?" she said.
















Every hit I took, I kept thinking of those images of Josh with that girl on his back in the pool.

Bop!
He was laughing with her.

I ran to the left to hit the ball.
Bop!
He kept swinging her on his back.

For a few minutes, I was in that room alone, running to this corner & that, hitting the ball with all my force of my right arm.
I could've kept on going for maybe a couple more minutes until suddenly, the lights went off just as I heard the thunder crack outside the condo.

I collapse on the floor & sink my head into my knees, sobbing, the tears finally coming out.
There were three things which I heard at the exact same time.

My sobbing.
The ball bobbing up & down gently on the wooden floor.
Footsteps.

I didn't bother looking up - hell, I didn't have enough energy to look up.
I kept sobbing & I felt someone sitting down next to me.

Finally, I looked up & saw the last person I wanted to see - or maybe the first?
I couldn't think too much. My head was hurting - & as corny as this sounds, so does my heart.

Josh was sitting next to me, just looking at me with confusion & yet, understanding.

"What're you doing here?" I said bitterly, looking at my feet in the dark.
"Hey to you too." he said with a grin.
Even though it was dark, I still could see him smile.

Damn him.

He got the hint & said, "Hey, what's the matter? You've been ignoring me for two weeks now. That's a long time, ya know."
"Well, I thought you needed space with your girlfriend." I snapped.
"What? Girlfriend? I don't have one."
"Oh yea? Well, who was that on your back two weeks ago?" I challenged, biting back the urge to ask whether it was his mom to prove Carol that she's wrong.
He looked flustered & stared at the ground.

The silence between us was tormenting. I felt like screaming at him but I didn't have the energy, like I said.

"She's... She's my cousin."
I snorted. "Yea. Cousin."
"Yes, she's my cousin." he said, a little more firmly.
I looked up into his eyes, my vision being a little blurred what with all the tears.

Finally, I just decided to trust him on this one because he was looking at me with... Something that makes me want to trust him forever.

"Why didn't you just tell me your cousin was a model lookalike?" I said.
He laughed & I cried at the same moment - how could I've been so stupid? Josh wasn't that kind of playboy freak.
He's a nice guy with a healthy amount of male ego in himself, is all.
How could've I just doubt that?

"Hey." he said softly, softer than the first time.
He came towards me & hugged me.

I stayed there in the dark, under his arms. Feeling protected from the real world.
As if he wouldn't let me in harm's way.

I looked up at him & he returned the look.
He brushed away a stray teardrop flowing to my chin & for a reason I couldn't think of, our faces were going closer & closer until we crashed into each other's lips.











My friends & I always played Truth & Dare. That time with Josh?
We were playing Truth&Kiss.

Each truth, reward with a kiss.

He admitted to me that he saw me coming out of the squash room & my dad walking away.
So he ran towards the elevator behind me, just to get to know me a little bit more.

He got a big kiss from me.

I told him how jealous I was when I saw his cousin - her name's Jamelia, by the way - & actually thought he was a playboy freak.

Big kiss from him.

But the nicest one was the last. The one where he said that he never felt this way for anyone before.

A really big one from me. & a long one too.

"Why isn't the lights on?" I asked as I came up for some air.
Because the rain's stopped so the electricity must be back on.
He gave me a smile & said, "Truth? I switched it off."

Another big one from me.








So here I am, watching Josh, Jamelia & this other guy from the neighbourhood splashing each other with water. Jamelia's being bullied by the two so I think I better rescue her from her fate.

But before I leave, I've just to tell you one last thing:
I'm Josh's official girlfriend - 2 months steady & already double-dated with Carol & Garrett.
& now, we sometimes hang out with Jamelia but most of the times? I play squash with Josh & sometimes switch the lights off.

Really, I love squash.
Especially in the dark.